How To Make A Remarkable Life
We all have the capacity to live a remarkable life. You only need to change your thinking.
I like to believe that we all live a remarkable life, though not everyone shares those sentiments.
My cousin is studying business administration for the year and one of the courses had him doing an interesting activity. One of the teachers decided it was a good idea to play a game “two truths and a lie”.
As simple as this game is, it says a lot about a person based on how they choose to approach this game. How are they going to stump a bunch of strangers with this game? Well, surely you’ll tell them some really interesting facts right?
For my cousin his truths and lie were:
- He was born 16,000 km away from where we live right now.
- My cousin slept through a hurricane.
- He had surgery done on his nose.
Even if you don’t know him, these are creative ideas that can get people to think he leads a remarkable life.
But it’s a stark comparison to the types of truths and lies that his peers have made. Instead of coming up with all interesting facts many of them lied about the amount of animals they had or what kind of food they prefer.
Details that don’t define a person but require you to know the person in finer details to know what they’re lying about.
In the end, many of these individuals may think deep down they have little to contribute to the game. They may think their lives are boring or not that interesting. Or that getting a degree from this program will give their life meaning in some way.
This attitude though persists through so many people. They even have a movie revolving around this phenomenon — About A Boy — which has been well received. Likely due to how relatable it is.
The point is many people think this way when the reality is we all have remarkable lives. On top of that, we all have the power to make our lives continuously remarkable as well. All that it requires is time and effort.
As a side note, if you’re wondering what my cousin’s lie was it was the surgery on his nose.
Start With Appreciation Of Yourself
The movie About A Boy is a story about a man named Will falling in love with a girl named Rachel. It’s not your average chic flic Hollywood romance film though as the story revolves around how Rachel turn’s Will’s life upside down. And it all starts with a single question:
“So what do you do?”
For all of Will’s life, he was the son of a man who made it big in the music industry. Will’s father is still getting so many royalties that Will can live a life never working. His relationships to this point are fleeting and spends a lot of his time chatting with casual friends and attending parties.
So when Rachel asked him that question, Will was at an utter loss for words. This spurred a realization of why his relationships didn’t last. Women approached him for his good looks but left once they realized he offered nothing at all.
The movie takes a different perspective than the traditional Hollywood rom-com formula for one. But it also explores other emotional aspects.
In a sense, what Will is going through is similar to imposter syndrome, though not so much when it comes to a job or career. Rather, many people can relate to this as Will at that point in the story thinks he’s not that interesting of a person. And for the first time, he’s interested in someone in a genuine way.
This forms the foundation of self-loathing and the thought we are uninteresting.
It is often those who think little of themselves or lack confidence that are often the hardest on themselves on certain abilities. I know from my own experiences that I can be hard on myself as well. I used to talk about the fact my life wasn’t that interesting since all I ever did was work or sit at home all day.
It felt like my own life wouldn’t amount to much of anything at all.
Many people think this way, though I managed to overcome that thought process.
It all started by showing myself some appreciation for myself.
Now, I didn’t go out and started to chant mantras proclaiming I’m an interesting person. Instead, I had a look at my own life and started to look at what I’ve accomplished in my life. My suggestion is for you to do the same.
- Despite this pandemic, what things have you learned about yourself this year?
- What are some of the achievements that you’ve made in your life overall? These can be big or small.
These are the two big questions that you want to go through and spend a lot of time on. By the end of it, you’ll come to realize that there are a lot of things that you have accomplished over your life. Even if it feels like things seem to be going at a crawl.
The reason for this is that we all “see” our lives in a different manner. It’s one of the great things about humanity. That said, when you are experiencing self-loathing or you doubt yourself, your view of your life shifts.
By focusing on the more positive aspects of your life — which there are definitely plenty — you can find more appreciation for those things. This can lead you to living a more remarkable life.
Look For Meaning
The second step is to find meaning within your own life. This is something that isn’t as simple as finding a goal and setting it. The pursuit of a goal is definitely helpful, but after all my years of setting goals, I’m aware that it can only do so much.
I spent all of 2019 striving to move out of my parents place. This involved me working a lot and having my entire life be defined by my work. While it did give me meaning, after I achieved that goal, it left me in a rut.
I gained a lot of weight and my overall confidence in social interaction was questionable as well. There was a sense of unease for me to be around other people.
This experience got me to thinking there is more to goal setting when it comes to discovering meaning. Goals will certainly help you in defining your meaning for existence, but I find it to be a series of goals and desires that help you steer your own life.
That’s not to say you need to be focusing on multiple goals at once. Instead, it’s important that you have goals and continue to look for more goals that you genuinely wish to achieve. These goals don’t have to be focused around a single area. In fact, it’s better for goals to focus on different quadrants of your life.
These provide you with meaning as they drive you forward and fill out your day more.
Have A Remarkable Life With A Change Of Environment
The people around us define us in a big way but so do our actions and decisions. You can lead a remarkable life by making simple decisions and acting upon them every single day. For example, ever since I’ve been going to the gym, I feel more confident and comfortable with myself and who I’m becoming. I feel it’s easier to talk to people and even have tougher conversations.
Conversations that would otherwise scare me or make me uneasy if I didn’t make that decision to work out more.
Because I made a change in my life from that simple decision, it makes sense that changing your environment — be it your friends, your routine, or your habits — you can start to see the world in a different way. This can influence the way that you think about yourself and the world around you little by little.
Chances are high that you think you don’t have a remarkable or interesting life because you have others around you that make you think you’re not all that special. While I don’t think anyone should get special treatment for existing, we are all unique. We all have different views, opinions, and experiences that others can’t imagine. I consider that interesting enough.
The final step to leading a remarkable life is to merely focus on your own life and stop comparing yourself to others. Before this pandemic, one of the big problems with social media is that we filtered our lives whenever we posted.
People only wanted to post the highlights of their lives and that often made people think that person’s life was all highs and there were never any downs. The reality is that life has peaks and valleys of course, but our mind doesn’t always realize that.
We jump to conclusions and compare our lives to others who are always out doing things.
This pandemic has thrown a wrench into all of that since the vast majority of us are stuck inside of our own home. There are far less posts revolving around travelling and constantly doing something.
Still, people can find some way to compare themselves to others during this pandemic. Some people are going out running a business or setting up online courses or doing some kind of hustle. Even during the pandemic, people are still able to do something with their life.
In those situations, it’s important for you to focus on your own life and not worry so much about what other people are doing. Sure people are going out and doing things. That’s great. That alone should be reason enough for you to get out and do something as well.
You Can Lead A Remarkable Life
Even though many of us like to downplay our lives or think we’re unremarkable or not that interesting, we’re actually not. Even if you feel like you haven’t achieved all that much, you have done things that no one else ever thought possible or thought of trying.
I know from my own experiences that I feel my life hasn’t amounted to much and I get that. When you spend a lot of time around people who have experienced more success and are getting out there and hustling, you feel like you are trailing behind.
But the thing to remind yourself is that not all of our lives are like a clock. We aren’t meant to achieve certain aspects at certain ages. I haven’t even started dating and I’ll be 30 next October. I know plenty of people around my age who are married and are maybe thinking about kids after this pandemic blows over.
I know people my age who have yet to find a fulfilling career. Me on the other hand have found one I truly love and enjoy doing.
No matter where you are at in your life, you can lead a remarkable life. All it takes is a matter of perspective.
To your growth!
Eric S Burdon
Originally published at https://ericscottburdon.com on November 2, 2020.