The Secret To Having Self Confidence To Do Anything
One aspect of living a positive life is that those who do lead those lives are confident in themselves. Yet the vast majority of individuals aren’t in that position. Whether they are experiencing doubt, fear, or coming up with excuses, I’m sharing the secrets to having self confidence and pursuing a positive life despite being in those situations.
Look at any successful individual and one of the key things that they have is confidence. They have the confidence to try something against all odds, or to do something they never did before.
A lot of people look up to these individuals and wish to be like them in some way.
To share their wealth, or perhaps even have their personality or confidence.
But one of the important things to remember and realize is these individuals didn’t suddenly roll out of bed and have a multimillion dollar business.
Well they did in a sense.
But there was a lot of days where they rolled out of bed to get to that moment.
They built their self confidence to the point they took the leap. They weren’t held back by fears, doubts, or excuses.
Today I’m sharing some of their and my experiences to overcome any obstacle and grow and maintain your self confidence.
Confidence Is Tied To Your Sense Of Worth
One of the biggest secrets I believe that crushes self confidence is what we are worth, at least in our head.
For a great number of people they deeply believe that what they are worth is how much someone actually pays for them. You might not initially think that way, however so many people work a day job yet have no side hustle.
They even struggle to ask for a raise and stay at the bottom thinking deep down this is what they are worth.
I don’t blame them since a lot of people are used to being told indirectly “this is how much you are worth to me.” This is done by the salaries or hourly wages that are set by businesses mostly.
Yet people are a very precious and practically invaluable resource.
Obviously we need to quantify it, but my point is some of peoples confidence is tied to them thinking they mean very little. All because they get paid minimum wage or a lesser amount of what they think they are worth.
How you can turn this around is very simple: remove that limitation on yourself.
A lot of people don’t start businesses or pursue anything different because they think they’re worth $11 an hour or $13 an hour. But that’s not true.
What others say you are worth isn’t equivalent to your own skills, abilities, or what you can offer to businesses. It never is and never was.
But don’t go walking into your bosses office and ask to triple or quadruple your pay.
That won’t happen in a realistic world. Unless you’ve done some incredible work to back it up.
But make an effort to act and think like you are worth more and that will make a difference.
Confident People Work Around Doubts
You remember the quote:
Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
It’s an awesome quote and is absolutely true. However, one of the key things with fear is that before we even face the challenge we are facing off with either doubt or coming up with excuses.
People will struggle a lot with it. Take for example what I said above where you are asking for a raise. A lot of people will struggle with this and may never ask for one. It’s likely because they may get laughed out of the office or something else.
Either way there is something that is making them doubt and it shakes your confidence in a big way.
But having confidence is being able to work through those doubts and grow accordingly.
What exactly is holding you back from achieving what you want? Furthermore, what must you do to get there?
Because it’s easy to increase your self-worth when you have something to back it up. Millionaires are made because they have a high level of self-worth. Even before they made their millions they thought they were worth that much.
They didn’t get there by asking their boss to pay millions of dollars for them. Nor did they expect their customers to pay millions for their products or services.
They worked harder and built connections. They built themselves up into that particular position.
So it is conceivable to ask your boss to triple your wages, however you want to back it up with data. Give examples of numerous times you did more than what’s in your job description. Have a list of compliments you got from your superiors or individuals you came in contact with.
Remember at a day job you are paid based on what others think you are worth. You can always change their mind by going above and beyond. Just the same, you can change your own perception of yourself by telling yourself great things too.
The same can be said in life. If you think you are worth little, start convincing more people you are actually worth more and prove it.
Confident People Squash Excuses
I’ve said in the past and I’ll say it again but our brains are excuse making machines.
People will continue to limit themselves all because they created a rational thought that has pinned them down.
Workers won’t go above and beyond because they use their wages as a limitation. Yes they’ll work hard, but what advances people and minds is doing something different, providing more value.
It’s easy to come up with a variety of excuses, but one of the things with confident people is that they go ahead despite that.
Yes, even the successful have excuses and can create some deep down within them. They are people too.
But they’re not pinned by them. Like with doubts, they work around it. They create a plan to get there.
The main reason our brain creates excuses is because we are changing our norms and our brain is trying to protect us.
But when you have a plan and a roadmap to get there, it does calm your brain down, no matter how big of a goal you are striving for.
Confident People Master Their Fears
To say confident people are fearless and courageous is true. However every person has to face a fear. The fearless and the courageous are no exception.
The difference though is that those who are truly confident have mastered their own fears. They use them as lessons to grow and improve themselves.
I use the example of Thomas Edison making the light bulb. He failed 999 times before making it work properly at attempt 1,000.
We don’t need to go to the extent that he went through, however every attempt he made, he made adjustments.
He continued to make adjustments again and again until he got it right despite so many telling him to give up already.
Overcoming our fears and growing really comes down to that. It’s a matter of looking at a problem or a mistake and instead of using it as an excuse, or future reason to doubt, we look at it as a lesson.
How can you grow from it?
And from there we can master our fears.
Being confident isn’t a matter of being some fearless burly individual that can’t be shaken down. It’s about how we respond to each situation in our own lives.
Whenever you experience doubt, excuses, or fear, respond accordingly to it.
How can I work around my doubts?
What sort of plan can I make to get me to my goals?
How can I grow from the fears in my life?
It’ll make a difference.
To your growth!
Eric S Burdon